Benediction
by aldkhfa142
Summary: Set post 5.02. Sam takes a moment to think, and blaspheme.


**Title:** Benediction  
**Rating:** G  
**Warnings:** Set post 5.02, although not explicit in any spoilery plot things.  
**Summary:** Sam takes a moment to think, and blaspheme.  
**Word Count:** 428

* * *

"So you tried to put a fire out  
But you used gasoline.  
And when the congregation gathered 'round,  
You're screaming 'It wasn't me.'  
So there's a sickness that is going 'round--  
But no one's got a vaccine.  
I think you'd drown in holy water.  
I think it's time we all come clean."  
--Brand New

* * *

The church is Catholic. There's row upon row of tealights, dark in their glass votives, lined up at the Savior's feet. Towards the back, a statue of Mother Mary weeps.

He's been staring at them awhile, the candles. Admiring the bloody gleam of them.

He'd wandered in the righteously-heavy double doors of this backwoods church looking for clarity. The Nebraska rain thick on his sleeves is drying, the ache in his road-weary legs is easing, and he still doesn't know what he's doing. Where he's going. Why he's here.

When he realizes clarity isn't coming, he gets to his feet and presses his fingers wide against the polished smooth of the altar. It's late; the candles are dark. But he digs in his pocket for his own lighter and brings it to life with a practiced flick.

The first wick catches easy enough, burning soft and weak. It brings a notion to mind. He pinches the wick back into darkness, considers for a moment, and lights it again to the tune of an unspoken name - Sarah Blake.

Pleased, he lights the next, and the one after that, and the one after that, listing as he goes.

Evan Hudson. Jo Harvelle. Lucas Barr.

Saved, saved, and saved.

Hailey Collins. Ben Braeden. Tyler Thompson.

Saved.

Harry Spangler. Lanie Greenfield. Ed Zeddmore.

Saved.

Tessa. Deacon. Bobby.

All saved.

Six rows of candles, he brings to life. He holds a hand over the flame, feeling the rising currents of heat. And then he tests the weight of the gilded doubter laid out next to the display and drops it over the first candle, drowning the small wick.

He works backwards, to other names:

Meg Masters. Jeremy Frost. Nancy Fitzgerald.

Andy Gallagher. Ava Wilson. Jake Talley.

Olivia Lowry. Peter Warren. Pamela Barnes.

Jack Montgomery. Sue-Ann Le Grange. Steve Wandell.

Dead-dead-dead-dead.

Every candle goes out.

He rests his fingers on the lip of a votive, still warm with extinguished fire, and speaks in a low whisper: "John Winchester."

In a smooth arc the candle topples to the floor, spilling hot wax as it goes. The red glass shatters, scattering across the scuffed floorboards. The rain water dripping off the cuffs of his jeans hisses at the touch.

"Jessica Moore."

Crash.

"Dean Winchester."

He pauses with a hand over the next votive in line. With one broad sweep of the arm, he sends a swath of candles tumbling to the floor in a cacophony of shattering glass.

He rubs the hot wax from his arm and studies the mess with a critical eye.

"Amen."

Finis

A/N: Don't know about you, but I can't keep track of these names for the life of me, so for those curious souls here's a compendium of saved/not-saved (based on the episode Sam's referencing, and obviously with a couple dozen names left off):

Saved  
Evan Hudson - _Crossroad Blues_  
Jo Harvelle - _No Exit_  
Lucas Barr - _Dead in the Water_  
Hailey Collins - _Wendigo_  
Ben Braeden - _The Kids Are Alright_  
Tyler Thompson - _Playthings_  
Harry Spangler - _Ghostfacers/Hellhouse_  
Lanie Greenfield - _Long-Distance Call_  
Ed Zeddmore - _Ghostfacers/Hellhouse_  
Tessa - _Death Takes a Holiday_  
Deacon - _Folsom Prison Blues_  
Bobby - _Dream a Little Dream of Me_

Not Saved  
Meg Masters - _Devil's Trap_  
Jeremy Frost - _Dream a Little Dream of Me_  
Nancy Fitzgerald - _Jus in Bello_  
Andy Gallagher - _All Hell Breaks Loose_  
Ava Wilson - _All Hell Breaks Loose_  
Jake Talley - _All Hell Breaks Loose_  
Olivia Lowry - _Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester_  
Peter Warren - _Red Sky at Morning_  
Pamela Barnes - _Death Takes a Holiday_  
Jack Montgomery - _Metamorphosis_  
Sue-Ann Le Grange - _Faith_  
Steve Wandell - _Born Under a Bad Sign_  
John Winchester - _In My Time of Dying_  
Jessica Moore - _Pilot_  
Dean Winchester - _No Rest for the Wicked_


End file.
